Well, today is probably one of the most important days for me, as my coming out wasn’t exactly the most normal. Let’s just say that I outed myself by accident…? Back when I was in Secondary School, I didn’t know much about my sexuality and wasn’t really thinking about it much as I had lots of work to complete, friends to socialise with and many other commitments at the time. I think it was during Year 11 that I discovered that I had an interest in only men after having an interesting discussion with some of my classmates about male masturbation…Not the best topic to talk about when there were lots of attractive men sitting around me, but that’s the tea sis!
From then on, I had all different forms of social media accounts (including dating apps which I kept to myself until I became comfortable with my truth). During an AS level photography class, we were all getting on with work, and one of my friends who had a good suspicious radar asked me if I was gay, to which I replied ‘Aha no, of course not, I like girls?’ or something along the lines of that. She pulled up my Facebook profile and I had commented ‘fire emoji’ ‘fire emoji’ on a post with two guys as the main header. I realised that I may have been sussed out, but at that point, I only admitted to being bisexual, and that weekend was when I took to social media to admit to being bisexual…when, in reality, I hadn’t provided the whole truth.
During Years 10-13 I was also secretly talking to a guy who I had met online at the beginning of Year 10 (age 13/14), but obviously hadn’t revealed this to anyone, apart from some of my closest friends. That was my first proper relationship with a guy until we broke it off when I got into Year 13, and he messaged me saying that he didn’t want to speak to me anymore…
On 11th October 2017 (exactly two years ago), I posted a long statement on my Instagram page stating the full truth about my sexuality and why I had kept it as a secret for so long.
The post read: ‘Tbh I knew I was gay since Year 11, but never spoke up because I knew I would have probably been judged, called names and hated. I’m so happy that I decided to come out a few months ago, to my best friends who seemed to already know, and then to my family who dealt with my coming out really well. I can now be a lot more relaxed when doing things and not be worried that people are judging my every move…I’m comfortable going to gay clubs, going to events such as Pride last year and intend on going to more, ignoring any hate and negativity I get just because of my sexuality.’
For anyone who is suffering in silence about not wanting to come out, speak to people your own age and people you trust, because there are people and services there to help you get through your struggles and personal situations. It was difficult for me but I feel so much more confident after working out the truth.
FOR ALL THE GAYS; LOVE WHO YOU LOVE AND F THE HATERS! #NationalComingOutDay
That’s my story, and I honestly couldn’t emphasise enough that anyone who is struggling with finding their own identity, to just speak up about it and have trust in the closest people around you! Everyone has a story, everyone has a voice and you deserve to be heard!
Below are pictures of other people’s stories and advice about coming out which are anonymous. If you are having any trouble and have no one to turn to there are always your personal tutors and staff available who will listen.
Happy National Coming out day #LGBTQ+
By Brandon Boyd
Feature image courtesy of a celebration of women